7 Gifts from God - Love Part 2

The second part of the gift of love is the love we receive from others. Its our relationships with people, friends, family and partners. I've always heard about soul mates, that everyone has someone who is their soul mate and some people are fortunate enough to meet and have theirs. I've also heard that love is a choice and its something you work towards. So it can get pretty confusing and sometimes its hard to hear what your heart is trying to tell you; but as far as soul mates go, I believe we have soul mates, but I believe there is more to it than finding your perfect match.What if your soul mate is the person who actually challenges you the most? Movies show us that soul mates are perfect compliments of one another and everything is peachy. I think that can be true but I also think it doesn't happen over night.
No one is perfect. But to find your soul mate, or realize maybe you have found them already, your soul has to be its true self. You have to know who you are and be willing to let yourself be that person all the time. Following the gifts opens you up to become who you really are, and having a true understanding of that, making you available to find your perfect match, or the perfect person to help you to continue to grow. If you are already married, but not sure you have your soul mate, following the gifts and practicing the concepts in your daily life and in your interactions with your spouse should help you sure up how you feel. Love is a choice but it can be a beautiful one, and even if when you begin your inner work, if you're not sure you've found your soul mate, you'll quickly know.
I wrote before about how looking at your opinions and actions can make a huge difference in your relationships, I've experienced this personally. When I started to look at the root cause of my anger or frustration with my husband and began to realize that maybe it was my attitude and non-appreciation of my husband that led him to do the things he did. As I've been writing about the gifts I have been practicing them in my own life and I know I am a different person now than when I started and my relationship reflects that as well. More than once I was ready to give up on my marriage and call it quits. I just knew I had married the wrong person and he was not my soul mate and we had nothing in common. I had thoughts of moving on without him and living a life "free" and "on my own". But when I stopped that way of thinking and started focusing on making myself better, our relationship also got better.  
Going through the gifts, I've given concepts and suggestions to enable you, with practice, to look at people with compassion and love. When you can strip things down to the basics and remember who you are, and who everyone else is, you can come from a higher place when doing your forgiveness work, dealing with arguments or opinions, and letting go of expectations from people. When you choose to see the good and potential in everyone and choose to show that in your own life, and continue with your daily spiritual practices, and hold people in prayer and in a higher space than you ever have before, you may be surprised by the people you had "given up on". They may surpass any expectations you once placed on them, but maybe it took you letting go of those expectations and taking yourself to a higher place to open the space for them to realize their true potential. 
This can apply to a marriage, a strained family dynamic, relationships with co-workers, any type of relationship in your life can be transformed by changing your way of being. When you are being your true self (the self that has forgiven, let go of opinions, is no longer a victim, is living from a higher place of self worth, and truly loves the self) your life and relationships transform. But to maintain those relationships takes commitment and daily practice, but this doesn't have to be hard. As you start to change and love yourself, you'll see the people around you start to change and start to interact with you differently. Their higher selves, or light of Spirit in them, is responding to your more open, higher self, or light of Spirit in you that you've allowed to shine more brightly, and it's helping them to open up as well. 
During the transition and transformation, you'll find that the people in your relationships will test you and push all of your old buttons. Instead of getting mad, see this as an opportunity to get practice at being the new you, or the real and true you. You may also find that old things and old ways of being may be brought up for discussion, see this as an opportunity to heal those situations permanently, in yourself and the other person. In the very early stages of your unfolding to your true self, you'll see your initial reactions are that of your old way of being, and they may bring a certain amount of shame or embarrassment, but don't let that ruin things! You've done hard work to be able to even recognize there is something wrong in the initial reactions you've had for years! Will you be brave enough to face those reactions and correct them? 
I experienced this with my husband one night; I was doing some inner work and he walked in and said "what are you doing"? My first reaction was irritation at him so boldly interrupting me, my second reaction was embarrassment because I didn't want to explain "I'm trying to make myself a 'better person'", so the actual reaction he experienced from me was anger with a quick response of "nothing!" His reaction: "Ok, I was just asking". Ugh! So finally my third reaction was shame at being embarrassed for trying to better myself and shame at my quick response of anger so unnecessarily. I wallowed in that for a moment, stewing in being angry at the whole situation and myself, then decided it was time to "practice" what I'd been working on. 
So I first forgave myself for my angry reaction and decided not to judge myself to harshly, because I was still learning and growing (that never stops!). Then I finally went back and said, "I'm sorry I snapped at you, I was doing some inner personal work and felt embarrassed to tell you so I covered that up by getting angry at you. You didn't do anything, it was all me, so I'm sorry and I working to do better." I think he was pretty shocked by that admission, and honestly, it took a lot for me to say that. It was always very hard for me to say sorry, admit when I was wrong, or to even express when my feelings were hurt, I always chose to cover all those things up with anger. Unknowingly my thoughts were, "I may have been wrong but he had to have been wrong somewhere too to make me say/do whatever, so if I'm more angry than he is, then I don't have to say sorry, he does".  
I know that all sounds crazy, and it does now to me too, looking back; but I was so stuck in that place of covering up how I felt by getting angry; and I normally only expressed that to the ones I love the most. I was such an angry person for so long, and I really had nothing to be angry about other than my own way of being. I'm so blessed I woke up and came out of that, so that now I can be the true person I am, who is confident and happy and full of self love and love for others, wherever they may be in their life's unfolding. That first step to try to change, and admit that to my husband, was very scary for me. Thankfully, I didn't let the fear of his reaction or my own hold me back, I just went for it and took the first step. You can do that too in your own life and relationships. For a while I would catch myself and make corrections, and I got a lot better at letting my husband know what I was feeling and why, so I could let it go and move on. 
Overall, all my relationships have improved, especially with my family and areas that needed healing. My husband was supportive of my wanting to improve myself, and we are so much happier, open and loving as a result. I can now say I feel like I have found my soul mate, but it started with me. I've even had people tell me that they can see a change in me and that I'm a much more enjoyable person to be around. I could take offense to that, but I know better than that, and it's probably a true statement anyways. Ha! Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself. So I challenge you to take that first step for you to make your life and your relationships healthier and happier. Please share your experiences below and feel free to ask any questions you may have. I hope you are inspired to heal the relationships in your life! Blessed be!